mai zen'in | 禪院真依 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
onepromise) wrote2025-02-01 08:32 pm
onepromise) wrote2025-02-01 08:32 pm
and i think i'm ready / to let you get under my skin (for ~rockinghorse)
[Thank goodness for the Shinkansen.
Otherwise, Mai highly doubts she would have slummed it on a local train for almost half a day just to spend some time in Tokyo. As it is, she hardly bothers venturing to the capital city if it doesn't involve anything school-related-- and even then, she's the last person to be excited about participating in the first place. She far prefers her home campus in Kyoto to the sister-school where, unfunnily enough, her own sister attends. Just the thought of being in the same city as Maki annoys her to no end, but Mai takes mild comfort knowing that whatever plans she has wouldn't have interested her musclehead sister, anyway.
She won't admit it out loud, but the best part of today's trip is the fact that it doesn't involve school, or curses, or anything relating the life she was unfortunately born into and forced to remain in. Pretending to be utterly normal, even if for a day, is a luxury not meant for someone like her-- yet here she is curled up in her train seat and watching the world rush by, just like everyone else.
Of all of the impulsive decisions that she's made, this one might prove to be one of the very few that don't crumble into something wholly disappointing. Or, well, a girl can certainly wish.
At some point in their planning, Mai had insisted on meeting up at some karaoke joint-- Nana made no mention of any upcoming shows she'd be performing at, but Mai would be damned if she went back home without finding out if the woman was all-talk about her record deal and star talent. In another life, Mai might've been the type to join a group of girlfriends for singing as soon as the last school bell sounded. In this life, though, she's rubbing elbows with someone almost-famous, hundreds of miles away from home. She could do a whole lot worse for herself (and certainly has before).
She's reluctant to admit when she's lost, but it's obvious enough when she shows up a bit late to their hangout that Mai fumbled the directions along the way. Embarrassing. The excuse of not being all that familiar with the city is tidy enough and it's the truth, but Mai is still annoyed-- half with herself, and half with the city of Tokyo in general. When she spots Nana lingering outside of the building, she makes a half-decent effort to smooth the scowl from her face before approaching her side.]
These streets are so annoying. I don't know how anyone could get used to living here.
[As she speaks this brusque "greeting" of hers, Mai fishes around in her tote bag before pulling out a small box of a regional confection from her hometown. Without fanfare, she holds the gift out to Nana in the hopes that she'll do Mai the favor of taking it off of her hands.]
This was my friend's idea. Keep it, or give it away. I won't care either way, really.
[A lie; Momo might have been the one to insist on her bringing along a souvenir from Kyoto, but Mai is the one holding the box and the expectation of approval. A hereditary trait she loathes, honestly.]
So, what are the odds of this place having any of your originals to sing along to?
Otherwise, Mai highly doubts she would have slummed it on a local train for almost half a day just to spend some time in Tokyo. As it is, she hardly bothers venturing to the capital city if it doesn't involve anything school-related-- and even then, she's the last person to be excited about participating in the first place. She far prefers her home campus in Kyoto to the sister-school where, unfunnily enough, her own sister attends. Just the thought of being in the same city as Maki annoys her to no end, but Mai takes mild comfort knowing that whatever plans she has wouldn't have interested her musclehead sister, anyway.
She won't admit it out loud, but the best part of today's trip is the fact that it doesn't involve school, or curses, or anything relating the life she was unfortunately born into and forced to remain in. Pretending to be utterly normal, even if for a day, is a luxury not meant for someone like her-- yet here she is curled up in her train seat and watching the world rush by, just like everyone else.
Of all of the impulsive decisions that she's made, this one might prove to be one of the very few that don't crumble into something wholly disappointing. Or, well, a girl can certainly wish.
At some point in their planning, Mai had insisted on meeting up at some karaoke joint-- Nana made no mention of any upcoming shows she'd be performing at, but Mai would be damned if she went back home without finding out if the woman was all-talk about her record deal and star talent. In another life, Mai might've been the type to join a group of girlfriends for singing as soon as the last school bell sounded. In this life, though, she's rubbing elbows with someone almost-famous, hundreds of miles away from home. She could do a whole lot worse for herself (and certainly has before).
She's reluctant to admit when she's lost, but it's obvious enough when she shows up a bit late to their hangout that Mai fumbled the directions along the way. Embarrassing. The excuse of not being all that familiar with the city is tidy enough and it's the truth, but Mai is still annoyed-- half with herself, and half with the city of Tokyo in general. When she spots Nana lingering outside of the building, she makes a half-decent effort to smooth the scowl from her face before approaching her side.]
These streets are so annoying. I don't know how anyone could get used to living here.
[As she speaks this brusque "greeting" of hers, Mai fishes around in her tote bag before pulling out a small box of a regional confection from her hometown. Without fanfare, she holds the gift out to Nana in the hopes that she'll do Mai the favor of taking it off of her hands.]
This was my friend's idea. Keep it, or give it away. I won't care either way, really.
[A lie; Momo might have been the one to insist on her bringing along a souvenir from Kyoto, but Mai is the one holding the box and the expectation of approval. A hereditary trait she loathes, honestly.]
So, what are the odds of this place having any of your originals to sing along to?
no subject
[Despite her penchant for smoking, Nana still has the bloom of youth on her face. The age difference between the two of them can't be that stark, though Mai's petulance probably doesn't help close the gap in maturity. There are already so many ways in which Nana is leagues ahead of her in life experience-- trying to hack it as a musician in the big city, doing decently enough for herself to afford some pretty nice clothes, and wearing an unmistakable air of confidence that only comes from fielding life's curveballs. When Mai mulls over these thoughts, there's no mistake that she truly is child in comparison. This will stay in the back of her mind, bothering her, because there really isn't anything she can do about it.
Against the muffled background sounds of the karaoke lounge, the noisy grumbling of Nana's stomach draws a sharp laugh from Mai, and the younger girl is just about to comment on it when Nana offers up her wallet for their snacks.]
You're funny. If I'm paying, then I'd better be getting a direct kiss later.
[Is she joking? Maybe her deadpanning isn't as effortless as Nana's, so Mai simply leaves her suggestive comment to hang in the air as she sets the menu back down. She leaves Nana to tinker with the microphones and strolls over to the corner of the room where a small telephone is affixed to the wall. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Mai picks up the receiver and places an order for food and drink. An order of edamame, takoyaki, karaage, and a couple of melon cream sodas seem like a good place to start. Mai never passes up a chance to indulge in junk food, and it'll probably put her in an easier mood once her stomach is happy.
Returning to her seat, she knits her brow at the mic held to her in Nana's outstretched hand.]
Huh? I'm singing too?
[A split-second of genuine shock crosses her face, replaced by a general hesitation at being invited to join in the spotlight. Really, she should have expected as much. Silly of her to think that Nana would be fine with singing at her the entire time... ]
...I'll just follow your lead. My English is shit, anyway.
[But she's curious now-- and obviously so-- at how comfortable Nana is with singing in a totally different language. Another tidbit of information that cements in Mai's mind that, yes, Nana really is pretty cool.]
no subject
( for as coolheaded as nana had remained about this entire affair, reflecting taunts and teasing as they rolled in, she couldn't let this one slip past her. all the things she had gone through in such a short life at the very least earned her the title of 'cool aunt'-
although it didn't escape her that she might be now called an old grandma or whatever else mai could say with that quick tongue of hers. just as quick though, nana made sure to tell mai to order a few sapporos to really get her vocal cords loose and full of unbridled anxiety that may have suddenly crept up on her. there was a vast difference in performing towards a faceless crowd than there was performing to a single individual. for some reason or another, she actually began to care about mai's opinion- not so much on her singing ability, but proving she was actually on route to being someone big [that's if she hadn't already read all the filthy tabloids and all their miserable rumors]. )
Of course, I need to warm up and it would be weird for you to sit there gawking at me while I sing alone.
( thankfully for them both her english when it came to singing wasn't too terrible, in fact she was able to pronounce things quite decently with an accent. when it came to actually speaking it in a conversation, where her voice could not stretch and force an elongation of each syllable and verb, well it certainly proved she wasn't as proficient as she seemed to be. )
Let's see...I don't want to sing anything too sappy....and we need to liven up the mood.
( she pulled forth the book and began to flip the sheet protectors in the folder, the crinkle of plastic filling the air. it was finally when she got towards the 'popular hits of 2001' that she placed her index finger [ordained by a vivienne westwood knuckleduster ring] on a particular song by a ska-punk band. )
How about you follow my lead on this one? Has a good amount of repetitive hooks we can sing together.
( whether mai agreed to it or not, she was already punching in the code for 'hey baby'. )
no subject
[Her little retort makes it sound a lot more naughty than what the truth actually is. Between her shitty cousin and hateful parents, Mai is spoiled for choice when it comes to picking an unwinnable fight with her elders. So, she'll wrinkle her nose at Nana-- though it's moreso at the status she's trying to stake a claim on rather than the woman herself.]
Better earn my respect if you want it so bad, then, old lady.
[There's enough bite in her words to show Nana that Mai won't play along without a little bit of eye-rolling and reluctance. Mai is lacking in many things (some she'll admit to, and others, not to much)-- with respect for most adults being one of them. Really, it's like people race towards adulthood thinking that they'll automatically be seen as someone important, that 'everything will change' when they're no longer a child. It's stupid and silly, especially when one realizes that all of the grown-ups in their life are still stomping and trampling over whoever they can to reach a top that doesn't exist.
Mai isn't stupid enough to think that she'll ever each that point in her life-- if she ever makes it that far-- but Nana is like Maki, wanting to snatch that prestige for herself and never let it go. And they're so painfully alike that they have sneaky little naysayers doing their damndest to sway the court of public opinion. Mai almost wishes she had never looked up Nana Osaki, never pulled back the layers of her pretty mystery like the pages of some tawdry magazine. Because now she knows too much-- but that's an inequality between Mai and Nana that tastes too bitter to gloat about.]
Whatever you want. You're the singer here, not me.
[She accepts the microphone, feeling its weight in her hand. Certainly not her weapon of choice. She imagines that Nana wields it with effortless confidence. She has to. Mai wants to see it-- even if those Sapporos likely won't be arriving until this first song is nearly over. Maybe Nana doesn't want to be gawked at like the spectacle she is, but Mai isn't about to turn to stare at a wall to make whatever stage fright there is go away. She always judges a bit too harshly, especially when she feels that creeping feeling in her gut that she's about to be proven wrong.
The song that Nana picks starts up, the first few electronic notes totally unfamiliar to Mai.
'Hey baby, hey baby, hey!' go the opening lyrics to this energetic tune, a style of music that the younger girl can't imagine herself ever listening to on her own. But hearing Nana's voice, low and with a delicious rasp to it when she sings, makes the song appeal to her in a way that's unique to this whole experience. Mai's eyes dart between the colorful lyrics on the TV screen, swelling in time with the music, and Nana's lips purring the verses before raising her voice to inject energy into the pre-chorus. Is it more a feast for the ears, or the eyes? Mai can't decide, but she'll think about it as she gets the hang of the chorus enough to chime in with Nana's "Hey baby, baby..."
There might even be a growing amount of enthusiasm in Mai's accompaniment, despite the embarrassment that wants to wage war on her paltry talent for singing.]
no subject
( she won't fight mai too hard on those snarky little remarks given their age difference and frankly— she wasn't in the mood to be dragged down into the depths that came with verbal insults and fighting. there had been too much bitterness and sadness in her life and the thought of pushing away someone because of her words was far too much to handle [even if she barely knew mai, but to nana, everyone came into her life for a reason. this was a painful lesson she had learned with hachi].
so it didn't take her long to let that little insult settle and writhe on the floor where it belonged, the mic lifting up to nana's lips as the song began to blare through the tv screen and fill the room with as much energy as it could muster. there was certainly a high level of influence when it came to nana's image and singing style [this band certainly wasn't it], but she liked their music enough to remember the song lyrics.
as the first line came in, 'hey baby, hey baby, hey-', nana stood up and had her eyes closed, letting the melody sweep and fill her body as if she were on stage performing to a large crowd. at first her voice is low, building up and escalating to match the fast past vibe of the song. she's a bit serious with it at first but when the lyrics come in-
'all the boys say',
nana is immediately turning to mai to reach out for her hand and lift her up, pushing her to join in on the excitement. at some point an employee walked by, peering into the room to see who exactly was singing. nothing would come of it just yet, but it was clear nana was far into this-
even rapping along with the lyrics that came in from the featured music guest. )
no subject
And of course, Mai being Mai, she can't do anything but absorb a little bit of that luster for herself, like the moon from its sun. She doesn't think much about lingering in Nana's shadow, offering meager back-up because Nana insisted on it-- but then she feels a hand reaching for hers, urging her to stand up, too. The sun asking the moon to join it if only for a few minutes in the daylight. It strikes something in Mai, the simple act, the significance of the invitation-- even if it only means something to the part of her that she thought had disappeared with her sister's abandonment. No one had held her hand in years, but it comes flooding back to her, how much she missed it. And unlike back then, when Maki would do so to protect her little sister and guide her to safety, Nana was bringing Mai to stand at her side as quasi-equals.
She hates how dumb she feels, her world shifting from just this silly split-second, but Mai doesn't let go of Nana's hand.
It's all so strange, singing a handful of words to a song she's never heard before, giving in to the rhythm and swaying a bit on her feet. Her mind half-registers the intrusion of one curious employee, and normally she'd shoot a look of annoyance in their direction for catching her in a moment of lackluster talent-- but this time there's a dose of pride in her expression. She's the one who gets to stand by Nana, after all.
Nana's passionate handling of the song, from the bold rapping bit to the flirty chorus, doesn't fail to impress Mai. She had a feeling it'd turn out this way. It only feeds her interest in hearing Nana sing her original music-- Black Stones' original music. As soon as their karaoke plans were made, Mai forbade herself from listening to anything they had put out, telling herself that she wouldn't bother giving them her time if Nana didn't have the chops to sing live. Well, it's clear how that turned out. Mai is sure to be converted before their not-date is over.
The final chorus comes to a close, with a satisfied Mai singing along with Nana until the final lyrics disappear off of the TV screen. She pries her eyes from the now-blank monitor and faces Nana with an expression that's softer than usual.]
"...you're not bad."
[It's painfully obvious that Mai isn't used to doling out compliments, even when they're deserved. Goodness only knows how many people in her life had shown her something impressive only to be dismissed or snarked at afterward. Even now, there's the telltale reluctance that is practically ingrained in the younger girl, but Nana might be able to discern a notable thread of genuine admiration lurking beneath. The thrill of the song is beginning to subside, and Mai is still holding onto Nana's hand. Now everything feels a little too vulnerable, and so she loosens her grip and crosses her arms while her eyes dart about their small room for something that'll keep her from spilling her guts any further.]
"Looks like the food's here."
no subject
this? this was far from that. there was no manipulation on her part of trying to win mai over more than just proving she was talented. this was her way of gently trying to chip away at the ice queen mai seemed to be and even if she wouldn't say those words, she could only hope they formed some kind of connection.
before she could ruminate on that sensation, idyllic thought, the song finally came to end with one final 'all the boys get the girls in the back' and nana is left breathing heavy, face flushed with excitement. she never gotten this focused on a song she didn't write, a song that by all means was ridiculously silly and yet—
surprisingly hit close to home. she was in a band with nothing but men herself, seated in the back and watching as they all enveloped themselves in new relationships with the women that so happened to be nearby and easy accessible. from yasu to miu, shin to reira, and nobu with whatever new tart was able to replace hachi. it was a bitter feeling she had but she deserved it too didn't she? to make a new friend or perhaps something more.
yet before she could truly turn to face mai [this mai], she was already dishing out such a reserved compliment, causing nana to burst out in laughter, still holding onto her hand. she nearly bent over in laughter before tears of joy pricked at her eyes. )
Are you bullshitting me?
( with their hands now free, she turned to face the food that had arrived—
but she wasn't done yet. )
I'm more than 'not bad', I'm fucking amazing. I even handled that weird American rapping with ease!
no subject
Nana's rather crass exclamation in response to Mai's little judgement makes the girl snort in amusement-- especially since Nana is laughing so heartily at what was definitely a compliment more standoffish than she actually deserved.]
Fine, I guess I can give you that.
['That' being a concession that Nana absolutely killed it with the rapping bit. No way will she outright declare, like a fawning little fangirl, that Nana is amazing. But the ice has broken somewhat between them after this, and Mai's tone is notably lacking the edge it would normally have if any other person were to try yanking a proper compliment from her lips.]
Showing off like that for just a 'warm-up' -- I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less from a real star, right, Nana?
[There it is again, a bit of her usual teasing, though it's decidedly more good-natured than before. She crosses her arms and walks over to the little table where the food and drinks are set, her hand still feeling the warmth from Nana's, and peers over at the selection. A moment of deliberation before she opts to start with the melon cream soda, feeling the chill of the glass swiftly cooling her hands. Too bad... ]
What made you wanna start? [She raises the glass to her lips, takes a sip.] Singing, I mean. Did you always know you were gonna be this good?
[Ah, a more proper compliment, now.]
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she just had to ask that specific question. it began when she too was in such an intense and dark place in high school, radiating vibes that made people whisper nonsense and rumors about her. the only one who saw past that was nobu who extended an olive branch out to her and encouraged her to form a band with him.
the one who truly pushed her to greater heights, who showed her the kind of romance she wanted to emulate, and the clothes she now donned was ren. a bitter painful reminder that no matter what she did in life, his influence would linger like a ghost. as much as she loved him....even now looking back—
it truly had been a toxic relationship. these aren't things she says to mai though, instead she immediately broke the silence by slinging her mic in her hand and holding it out to mai as if she were holding a sword to an opponent. )
That's a story for a different day my dear, you're here to listen to me sing a song from my band. So hurry up, look up the song 'Rose' by BLAST.
also happy bday nana!!! at least in my timezone still c:
A story for a different day... But stories abound already, Nana. Far too many for there to be truth in all of them, but enough that any person more impressionable than Mai would no doubt find themselves drawing some unfair conclusions.
While Mai has a pretty smart mouth, she's at least not stupid enough to needle Nana about something she very easily brushes off with a smooth brandishing of her mic.]
Hmph. Just because you're old-- [ not "older," Mai wants that distinction clear!] --doesn't mean you get to boss me around.
[But she wouldn't be Mai Zen'in if she didn't (begrudgingly) do as others asked of her, especially if it was a request from someone whose company she wanted to keep. It truly was a curious habit of hers, hanging around strong personalities in attempt to fluff her own ego a little bit. They're always the talented ones, too, if she really stopped to self-reflect. Talented and quick to recognize Mai as a dutiful if not troublesome lackey. A lot in life she's far from fond of, even as she sets her glass down with an exaggerated display of annoyance and walks over to where Nana has set the songbook from earlier. It's easy enough to find. BLAST. Mai runs her finger over the print; no one else she knows can boast an original song offered at a karaoke lounge.
Once the code is entered, Mai takes her seat again on the center of the sofa, right where she has a perfect view of the show to come. She crosses her legs idly, and pays no mind to the drink melting in her hand.]
All right, Miss Rockstar. I'm ready to be blown away.
♡♡ (even a week later lmao)
( her words are less rough than before, maybe even amused— but in the end they disguised how she truly felt deep inside. there was no sense in getting caught in the memories of the past and wallowing in the painful emotions that came from it. at least that's what nana told herself and as she moved to stand directly in front of the tv, she began a small ritual of sorts to get into the mood.
she began to roll her shoulders back, shoulder blades moving to nearly touch each other and her head began to tilt from side to side. her eyes closed briefly, the humming of the guitar and drums blaring from the tv, a familiar start to a song she's come to know and love by heart.
as the music blared on, she brought the mic up to her lips, slow and careful— and although most of her front appearance was hidden to mai, it was clear she was concentrating on this far more than the previous song that played. whatever sadness and bitterness over being reminded of the past lingered, it was now blasted away as the first verse began and nana began to sing a set of all too familiar lyrics. )
'When I was darkness at that time—'
( and on went the rest of the song in their native tongue, making clear how much passion and drive she truly had, even in a place like this.
which soon enough brought a bunch of eyeballs and looky-loos to the small window in the door of their private room. )
no subject
When the song begins, Mai makes herself still, her breaths as quiet and as slow as she can manage. There isn't the excitement of a proper audience to overpower her nerves or drown out her presence in their commotion, so she can feel the thrum of the guitar and the rhythm of the drums more strongly than she expected to. It is, of course, nowhere near as intense as she imagines it would be in a real venue, with Nana's real bandmates setting the scene for her voice to truly stand out.]
'Furueteru kuchibiru
Heya no katasumi de I cry...'
[Oh.
Even without the stage, the band, the audience-- everything melts away as Nana throws herself into the music, her music. That earlier warm-up, though impressive, feels like a silly little exercise in preparation for this. Mai had hardly understood the words of that western song, but these lyrics grab her immediately in their moodiness, only heightened by the way Nana sings-- the way she's done countless times, surely.
Mai feels her chest tighten when the chorus hits, and she can't say completely what exactly draws such a reaction from her. Is it Nana's impassioned vocals, hauntingly impressive in its raspiness? Or maybe it's the melancholy dripping from the lyrics, the desperation of wanting someone and the praying that they won't abandon you the moment you reach out for them with everything you have... ]
'I wanna need your love...'
[By the time Nana is in the midst of singing the second pre-chorus, a few faces peer into the window of their room to see exactly who is singing so enthusiastically right now, to the song from a band with more than a few scandals under their belt.
It couldn't be Nana Osaki, one girl seems to mutter to her friend, as she tries to get a better look in the dimly lit room. But with Nana mostly turned away from them, all they have to go off of is the dark hair and stylish clothes on a slender young woman. A wannabe, maybe? But not with a voice like that... ]
'Nobody can save me
Kogoeru bara no you ni'
'Yasashiku nemuritai my tears...'
[And Mai isn't even paying them any mind, herself already sucked in right as the chorus strikes again.]
no subject
yet as she went on singing, hitting each word with as much passion and gumption as before, she found herself comfortable on the little stage she had made. whatever worries and insecurities were floating back into her mind were slowly drifting away. anyone who knew her, as a person and listened to those lyrics would realize the full extent of nana. that behind that cool exterior and fashionable aura, was a woman riddled with a need to love and be loved. she had shut herself off for so long, for so many years that the idea of wanting love had been so gone from her but now it was the only thing still driving her to keep a connection with others.
finally, as she reached that last bridge with the distorted voice [normally in the released version of the song], she turned towards mai and stared at her intently— )
'Nobody can love me
Nobody can help me
I'm a broken rose'
( then came the last chorus with the gaggle of on-lookers still whispering and ogling someone they thought was nana, but weren't quite sure of it. )
no subject
'I'm just a little girl / who can't stop the tears'
She's lived those words intimately, hasn't she? And she sings them in a way that Mai could only dream of, in a way that could truly speak to others rather than keep them at arm's length. A rose that's too thorny is awfully lonely, isn't it?]
...I take back what I said. You're the real deal, Nana.
[Normally, getting kind words out of Mai is like pulling teeth, but this time, she doesn't resist telling Nana exactly what she thinks. And she knows well enough that Nana would survive just fine whether or not she got this compliment. If she was aiming for the top, she'd need a will of steel that would keep her going no matter what kind of muck she'd have to wade through for the world to see her shine. Goodness knows that there's plenty of it, already.
The crowd around the window has grown too obvious to ignore, and Mai shoots them a testy look before crossing her arms and looking back up at Nana.]
Guess the audience out there is thinking the same. Want me to do something about them?
[Mai doubts that Nana wants to field any fan interactions, right now.]
no subject
she turned briefly, placing down the mic onto the table and began to reach for a bite of the food that had been brought earlier. she remained silent for now, opting to eat as she looked at mai with a soft face before her eyes skirted towards the door to see the crowd of eyes looking in on them. )
Sure, go nuts. If you do a good job I might even consider hiring you as my personal body guard.
( it's a soft joke meant to sway away the intense feelings she felt now— it was a strange thing to be complimented, to boast about her talents in such a way. she wasn't quite proud of doing this now and while mai had pushed her, she wasn't sure if this was a good idea.
nana had never been too good at being prideful all things considered. )
Just make sure they don't get in here, would hate for this to end up on some cheesy tabloid.